Sunday, August 05, 2007
Post:
Today is the last day.
I don't wish to breakdown anymore.
I'll begin writing letters for all of you.
1 more hour before i decide.
But the decision seems so obvious;
It's not what i wanted.
I tried and tried.
monday,tues and even wed,
Things turns out well.
Thurs came, things begin to decline..
I tried to save it; failed.
Friday and sat still not much improvement.
Today,
I dunno what went wrong.
I just need to know, so that i can change.
But..I don't know a thing at all..
I understands your situation there isn't very good..
But so was my situation here.
I'm having stomach upset,
Fucking family here got situation..
And you, i am worried about you..
What happened?
I'm lost..
And i've lost.
I just wanna you to be happy..
But i seems to made you so unhappy..
I dunno what went wrong.
And my life seems so blurish now.
I push and push myself to go through this week.
But tonight, It's the last day.
I dun wanna lose..
I wanna bring you to lots and lots of places..
I wanna show you alots and lots of things..
I want to..marry you.
I want to spend the rest of my life with you.,
I dun wanna die today..
I dun wanan leave you, and everyone..
But now i'm weak..
I can't control myself..
I need the final push..
And it's gonna hurt.
Chan su ie,
I love you.
I really do.
I wanna work hard for my studies for us..
I wanna be the best for you..
I wanna be the person you can rely on..
But yet now..
I'm just a weakling..
I need to go through tonight..
Tonight.
I dunno...
I really dunno..
I've promised myself to get through tonight.
I need to get through tonight.
seconds are ticking aways..Then minutes..slowly hours..
And the verdict would arrive.
Death is inevitable to all, People come, people go.
when it's time, Just let go.
But my life isn't just gonna be 15years and 11months.
I needa go through..
I must.
i want suie to be happy.
I wan kaijing to be happy.
I wan kimsiong to be happy.
I wan jonathanlee to be happy.
i wan all my frens to be happy.
My surroundings seems so cold..
I'm cold..
Too much setbacks?
Too much flaws?
Too much mistakes?
I've done enough bad to the community.
I'm sorry.
Whether i make it through or not, Catch me up tomorrow.
If i don't show up, get yourself mentally prepared.
I'll give myself one last push.
Chan su ie,i love you, and i'll live on for you.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ITS ME .
