Sunday, July 29, 2007
[29july2007- 01:42]
I dunno wad went wrong at start.
then everything went into a mess.
And now i ended up with one last week to decide: to live or to die.
I'll live if within this week i can change.
I'll die if i couldn't.
What change?
Be more decisive.
Be even more initiative.
Be able to catch more hints though i never could even when i tried so hard..
What i done for us i never really mentioned.
Yet things could go so wrong.
Yes, i did mentioned once.
And i got was, " You do that for what?i never ask you to do that.."
I do that for us.
Everytime i said the same thing, people would sae i'm naggy or like fuck up.
but the whole problem is..no one cares about how i feel when i sae all that..- Simply is i meant wad i says..
And yes, life's been so so cold to me.
All i desire was someone would able to care of me..
and today, i realised, i couldn't even really share with you my problems; when i heard you sae i am bringing you a burden.it hurts me..
never mentioned that i do get jealous,
though i could handle them, doesn't mean i could take them easy.
And your couz really pisses me off.
And i never really asked you to do the initiative, but help me..
I tried hard..very hard..but you dun see it.
When i done things for us, i never said it..
When i say it, it's like being moron asking for a repay---that's not what i want..
I just wan our relationship to be good.
Even if i takes my everything, since you are my everything.
Often i can heard ppl sae i am silly, i am crazy..
But when people sae that, do they look back at my posts and wonder,
how much time left do i have on earth?now is probably one week.
Since no one cares, i'm considered abandoned.
Wait, how about my girl?
I'm speechless always..
I'm always at lost..
And i never knew i was pressuring you..
Until today..
Then i realised i was a fool.
Perhaps a fucking fool,
that never realises i created so much pain in you.
But now, for my last week, i'm going for my last run.
If i am able to change, then it'll be good.
If i can't, then it's too late.
Life is indeed short for me; i might not live to see my 16th birthday.
With all my love,
Marvin.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ITS ME .
